So this month is the first month I have been unable to make my house payment. Not sure what is next .....

Generally speaking I stay away from gloom and doom. Some days it ambushes me at the door and dogs my heels like a clowndog with downturned mouth.

I have no idea what is next ... probably the cars. But we need cars to stay in jobs or look for jobs. This area of California is pretty thin on the ground for decent employment.

Still - mostly healthy. My youngest has had a couple of 'episodes' of anaphylaxis, which wreck her immune system. After the last one she crashed hard with some sort of virulent flu. It almost amazed me to count the number of people who asked me if she had been tested for swine flu. Don't even get me started on media-generated hysteria - it makes me pink around the cheeks, mad staring in the eyes and run off to froth at the mouth lol!!

But there are signs of hope. For now my personal life feels like a long, slow trek across a barren desert. There are days I don't want to get out of bed. Days when it feels as though there's just no point. There are my children to remind me of what is precious, my chihuahuas to remind me of lifes hilarious sense of humour and TA to remind me that I am loveable, even when I don't want to play at the game of life anymore.

John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans."